Thursday, February 16, 2006

Time to scream

I am frustrated.

I can't write. I can't think. I can't do a goddamn thing right now. I'm exhausted. I skipped my first class this morning to try and get work done for my second class, which I can't even come close to finishing right now. I've tried two different takes on the story that I'm trying to write for fiction, but it's damn near impossible. I feel like the whole thing is just wandering around in the dark with no purpose. I don't even know where the plot is going. I don't even know if I have a plot. I'm really really tired because I was up late last night trying to make this work and it didn't so I went to bed for a couple hours, then woke up early this morning to try and make it work again and it didn't. I've been trying to make this work for about a week and there's just a pile of nothing. Not even a BIG pile of nothing. All I can think to do is scrap the whole thing and start over, but class is in one hour and there's just not time for that. So what now? What in the hell am I supposed to do? It's not like I haven't been trying. It's just that my efforts are amounting to about seven pages of insufferable dreck.

Why couldn't I have just grown up with a love of accounting or something instead?

1 comment:

Alicia said...

Hey, darlin'. Been there. Are still there many times. I know it sucks because you have a deadline, and who the hell can put a deadline on creativity? So here's what you can do: nothing. Just get as far as you can, and even if you hate it, it's as good as you can get, so just turn it in. It's all you can do, right? And then scrap it, but remember to put the good parts in your writing orphanage because, knowing you, there are going to be a lot of good parts.

Have you ever read "The Courage to Write" by Ralph Keyes? When I first read it, I thought it was utter crap, but it actually coincided with my writing more than I wanted to admit. I know you can pick it up really cheap on Amazon.com. It's one of those books that is worthless when you're inspired, but when you're feeling down and out (like right now), it makes you feel a little better. And sometimes that little bit means a lot in your writing.

And I agree with Froyd. Accounting is boring. And you're definitely not boring! Nor is your writing, so just breathe and keep typing.