Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Sunday, July 15, 2007
All good things
Anyone who still reads this may notice that I haven't updated for a good two months or so now. What does that mean? Well, effectively, it means that this is the end of the long and winding road I've been traveling through my college years. In the past two months I've finished my spring semester, moved from the apartment where I lived for two years back to my parents house (very temporarily), returned to Bemidji to finish the one class I needed to take to graduate, lived on my friends' futon for six weeks (tough on my back, let me tell you, but possibly the best time of my life), moved from their house to my other friends' townhouse in the Twin Cities (sleeping on a semi-real bed this time), and spent one last weekend with my best friend before he has to go back to Bemidji. In other words, I've been very busy.
I'm still wandering down the path, of course. But it's a different road, with new signposts and landmarks and a long dashed yellow line that seems to disappear around corners I didn't even know existed. So it's time for me to say goodbye to The Long and Winding Road, the outlet for heartache and angst and love and joy that got me through my college years and helped me to meet some of the most wonderful people at the university and beyond. This will be my last post here.
This blog will, of course, remain archived online. And if I decide to start another blog (which I may do after things have settled down a bit for me), I'll post a link to it here.
It's been a great run. Just looking back in the archive proves to me how much my writing style has grown and changed in the past few years. This is my soul, as raw and real as I have ever exposed to anyone. I always like to think that any real writing contains a bit of the essence of the author, and this blog is filled with my spirit as much as anything else.
To everyone who has read this over the years, I wish you safe journies. Wherever this road takes me, you helped to get me there. Thank you.
May the road rise up to meet you.
May the wind always be at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
and rains fall soft upon your fields.
And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the palm of His hand.
I'm still wandering down the path, of course. But it's a different road, with new signposts and landmarks and a long dashed yellow line that seems to disappear around corners I didn't even know existed. So it's time for me to say goodbye to The Long and Winding Road, the outlet for heartache and angst and love and joy that got me through my college years and helped me to meet some of the most wonderful people at the university and beyond. This will be my last post here.
This blog will, of course, remain archived online. And if I decide to start another blog (which I may do after things have settled down a bit for me), I'll post a link to it here.
It's been a great run. Just looking back in the archive proves to me how much my writing style has grown and changed in the past few years. This is my soul, as raw and real as I have ever exposed to anyone. I always like to think that any real writing contains a bit of the essence of the author, and this blog is filled with my spirit as much as anything else.
To everyone who has read this over the years, I wish you safe journies. Wherever this road takes me, you helped to get me there. Thank you.
May the wind always be at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
and rains fall soft upon your fields.
And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the palm of His hand.
Thursday, May 10, 2007
Two down, two to go
You've heard the phrase "dodged a bullet"? Well... I just managed to dodge a cannonball.
In other news, I turned 23 yesterday, with a small but not unnoticable bit of fanfare. I'm still no wiser, and my problems have not disappeared. Some of them have grown. But I'm more keen to work on them now.
I'm back to the psychologist and doctor again. This semester has not been good for me mentally, and they've upped my meds again. I have another doctor's appointment next Thursday, where they may decide that I need to completely switch medications. Honestly, this is not a good time for that. But I suppose it'll never be a good time. I'm concerned about it, because I run out of health insurance at the end of the month, and from what I know about the half-life of Prozac, that's not really enough time for me to get off one medication and get on to another. Also, generic Prozac is cheap. Other anti-depressants, not so much. So yet another concern. But for this moment in my life, on a nice sunny day, wearing my favorite skirt and having just given a kick-ass presentation, I'm okay. I just have to continue to repeat that to myself. Life is hard, life sucks sometimes, but right now, I'm okay.
In other news, I turned 23 yesterday, with a small but not unnoticable bit of fanfare. I'm still no wiser, and my problems have not disappeared. Some of them have grown. But I'm more keen to work on them now.
I'm back to the psychologist and doctor again. This semester has not been good for me mentally, and they've upped my meds again. I have another doctor's appointment next Thursday, where they may decide that I need to completely switch medications. Honestly, this is not a good time for that. But I suppose it'll never be a good time. I'm concerned about it, because I run out of health insurance at the end of the month, and from what I know about the half-life of Prozac, that's not really enough time for me to get off one medication and get on to another. Also, generic Prozac is cheap. Other anti-depressants, not so much. So yet another concern. But for this moment in my life, on a nice sunny day, wearing my favorite skirt and having just given a kick-ass presentation, I'm okay. I just have to continue to repeat that to myself. Life is hard, life sucks sometimes, but right now, I'm okay.
Monday, May 07, 2007
Minor annoyance
Caring about people is way too hard. And not knowing what's going on with them is worse. It's like a little biting insect in the back of my brain, where I can only forget so long before it's back nipping at me. Or it's an itch that I can't quite scratch, so I just try to ignore it, but when I'm not otherwise occupied, it comes back with all the fury it can muster.
In other words, I'm curious and stubborn, and I don't let go of things. So talk to me soon, please. I don't need to go any more crazy over things than I already have.
In other words, I'm curious and stubborn, and I don't let go of things. So talk to me soon, please. I don't need to go any more crazy over things than I already have.
Friday, April 27, 2007
Look around you
Well... I seem to be completely better now. I really, really hope it lasts.
I've been busy exploring lately. I think one of the things that prevents me from fully growing up is that I constantly find something to be fascinated with. Right now, it's magic. Tomorrow... I dunno, maybe flowers. Or insects. Or chemistry. But I keep finding subjects that I want to know more about, so I research them out of a spirit of fun rather than because I have to. I still have that childhood fantasy of being able to know everything. Or at least, everything I want to know.
The world is still a fascinating place. My guess is that most people would be happier if they remembered that.
I've been busy exploring lately. I think one of the things that prevents me from fully growing up is that I constantly find something to be fascinated with. Right now, it's magic. Tomorrow... I dunno, maybe flowers. Or insects. Or chemistry. But I keep finding subjects that I want to know more about, so I research them out of a spirit of fun rather than because I have to. I still have that childhood fantasy of being able to know everything. Or at least, everything I want to know.
The world is still a fascinating place. My guess is that most people would be happier if they remembered that.
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