Monday, July 25, 2005

Monday morning meandering

Bolthouse Farms vanilla chai soy protein drink is wonderful wonderful wonderful.

Have you ever been hungry but with no idea what you want to eat? That's how I feel about guys lately, if that makes any sense. I want some sort of relationship, a boyfriend I guess, but I have no romantic drive whatsoever... Maybe it's just the security (whether imagined or real) of feeling like somebody loves me. I'm not even sure what I'd WANT from a boyfriend, or more importantly, what I'd want that I don't already have in just my regular friends in terms of emotional involvement and support. I don't have romantic notions about expensive dates and making out and romantic moonlight walks on the beach and what have you. Maybe all I want is a feeling of permanence.

Silly Taurus girl, always needs to bet on a sure thing.

Francesca Lia Block's book Weetzie Bat is really cool.

From August 5 - 30, I'm going to be completely free. No classes, no work, no obligations. Just me doing my thing. I think I'll probably go crazy from boredom or something. Maybe I'll go and volunteer at the animal shelter. Or maybe take a road trip. Katie wants me to go down to Chicago, but I don't want to... maybe I'll drive out to North Dakota or something. Or Canada. Or Ely, so I can see where Kvale works now.

Or maybe I should dream of a long beautiful backroads trip down to New Mexico again to lay to rest some of the demons that keep plaguing me. Three weeks is a long time. Three years is almost forever.

Going to class now.

3 comments:

Sweetandsourgoth said...

Don't feel so bad... Things will happen at their own pace. At least be comforted that nobody can hurt you as badly because you are single... You have some of the greatest friends in the world.. Enjoy them...

Froyd said...

kvale is the devil. he works in hell.

Angel said...

Hell is in Ely? So it DOES freeze over? Gee... I better take back some of those promises before winter...