I've been miserable before, and how I feel right now isn't even close. But it still sucks a lot.
It's been one of those nights when I would do just about anything to get out of this room, sit down with a bunch of friends, and just talk. Loneliness wears heavily on me lately. But it's not to be. So tonight I sat for nearly three hours and read my book and imagined myself away from this place. I'm so close to the end... just another day, I think. Or less. But no more tonight. My eyes hurt. Paul just ran into Gurney Halleck again. I really wanna know what happens, but... I just can't go on reading tonight. I'm exhausted.
But before I go.... here's a little excerpt (as I remember it) from a poem by A. E. Housman that I particularly like:
Oh, I have been to Ludlow fair,
and left my necktie God knows where,
and carried halfway home or near
pints and quarts of Ludlow beer.
And then the world seemed none so bad
and I myself a sterling lad.
And down in lovely muck I've lain,
happy till I woke again.
Then I saw the morning sky.
Heigho, the tale was all a lie.
The world, it was the old world yet.
I was I, my things were wet,
and nothing then remained to do
but begin the game anew.
A sinner in good company. (Ooh, I feel a poem coming on...) Please note: being underage sucks sometimes.
Well, time for me to get to bed. A good eight hours usually improves my worldview dramatically. I'll just grin and sing even if I don't feel like it. Skip-a-dee-do-dah, skip-a-dee-ay....