Thursday, January 22, 2004

One multi-faceted late-night rant

I was overcome just moments ago with the feeling that I will never be able to function as an adult. I'm 19, and I still feel like I'm about 12. I don't think I can deal with the responsibilities that are required when you get to be an adult. Bills and kids and adult relationships... How am I ever going to hold down a job? I can't even manage to go to all my classes every time! I'm not an adult yet. Hell, I shouldn't be allowed to live on my own or drive a car. Am I just being insecure? I'm so easily distracted by the fun stuff that I tend to put off the necessary stuff until the last possible moment. I don't know... I don't know I don't know!

I had a dream last weekend about getting married in a white dress and then going to the reception in a black dress, but in between, I was running around town looking for a silver and rhinestone cross necklace that would match my dress. I looked like I was going to prom. The whole marriage thing is disturbing, too. I've never even had a boyfriend. I don't wanna start the whole "nesting" phase of my life yet! I've got better things to do than get settled. Or is that just the child in me talking?

We have more cars than licenced drivers in this country. I just heard that on the TV. Who in the hell needs more than one car? And what about people who can drive but can't afford a car? Just think about the pollution being put out by all those cars. People are gonna kill the earth one day. Not that my driving a pick-up truck helps matters any. If I could afford to buy a car, it'd be one of those gas/electric hybrids that gets more than 30 MPG. I wish they'd just get the whole hydrogen energy thing going in this country. If they can do it in Iceland, they can do it here.

I need to go. I need to take a shower and fall asleep and wake up tomorrow morning to go learn how to be ethical and philisophical and literal. Adieu

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